30th September 2017
5 Polite Ways to Specify that your Wedding is Adults Only
Announcing that kids aren’t invited to a wedding could easily cause offense – here are some ways to ensure no one gets hurt, while getting the message across.
Specify on the invitation
We don’t mean putting ‘KIDS NOT INVITED’ front and centre on the envelope or invite, but you will need to make it clear by addressing only those you want attending on the invite, otherwise, there’s a good chance that guests will assume that their children are also invited. You can even go the extra mile by specifying the names on the envelope, invitation, and RSVP card.
Add the info to your wedding website
Personal wedding websites are a thing nowadays, and also the perfect place to throw all the info you want people to know about in relation to your wedding. It’s also a fitting place to mention that your wedding ceremony and reception are adults only, in case your guests had any doubts about the info on the invite.
Try not to make exceptions
If you want a flower girl, ring bearer and/or junior bridesmaid present at the ceremony, you’ll also have to invite them to the reception along with their parents. While this is understandable, guests whose kids weren’t invited but see kids around at the reception might get offended that theirs weren’t invited too. Have a chat with close family members whose kids you invited about this and make it clear to them that the rest of the wedding is adults only, so that they can spread the word at the reception if anyone starts asking questions, and possibly make arrangements for when the wedding enters after-hours.
Call up guests who are making wrong assumptions
Addressing awkward questions could be the most uncomfortable part of all, but it needs to be done to clear the air, so just muster the courage and get it done. If family members or friends start asking why younger relatives or children are not invited, call and explain that you opted for an adults only wedding, without justifying your decision. People’s feelings might get hurt, but if they truly love you and respect your decision, they’ll back off, even if they don’t get it. It’s better than making up a bunch of lies about why you didn’t invite children, which will only cause more friction.
Stick to your guns
Expect some pressure from those closest to you to bend to their will, but remember that this day should be about what you and your partner want, and you can invite whoever you want to invite – end of story. It wouldn’t hurt for you to be understanding of their problems if they have no one to leave their children with (consider being a truly kind soul and paying for a trusted sitter to mind their kids?), but if they’re upping the agro on you, then it’s probably best they don’t attend your wedding at all. Smile and get on with it.