20th May 2018
Do’s and don’ts for your wedding day guest list
Bottom line: think ahead for a hassle free day!
1. Do pick a number
Before you decide on who to invite, you’ve got to settle on how many people you want on your big day. Avoid the temptation to go overboard – unless you really want a huge affair – since this could limit where you organise your special day.
2. Do start by using a sharing app
Let’s talk practicalities: how can you make sure you’ve left no one out? Set up a shared spreadsheet (Google Sheets works wonders!) between you and your partner and start placing names down on it. Then, go through it together and determine whether that invite really needs to go out or not.
3. Do set some basic rules
What do we mean by that? Determine what type of relationships will make the cut and which won’t. For example, if you have not met or spoken to them in a year, you don’t need to ask them to your intimate gathering. And, decide if you’ll be inviting kids or not – you don’t have to, you know.
4. Do be clear about your expectations
If your family are contributing to your wedding, you need to be clear with them about what type of wedding you want: do you want a big kick-off feast or a small intimate affair? Communicate this to your parents, and your partner’s parents, so everyone is on the same page.
5. Don’t feel pressured to invite all your extended family
Some extended families easily add up to the hundreds, with dozens of cousins. Don’t feel compelled to invite everyone with their plus ones, especially if you wouldn’t even recognise them if they stopped you in the street!
6. Don’t be bullied
This is the time to let go of those apron strings. Even if your parents are contributing to your big day, you get final say on the guest list. Don’t feel pressured to invite your father’s colleagues or your mother’s old schoolfriend. Whatever they say, this is your day and you will – hopefully – not be doing this ever again.
7. Don’t forget the plus ones
This does not mean that everyone should necessarily get one, if they’re not in a long-term relationship. But, if you have guests who are single, ask them if they want to bring someone. Don’t just assume that they won’t – especially if they don’t know many of your other family or friends.
And, on the day:
8. Do try to avoid surprises
Avoid gate crashers (even accidental ones!) on your big day by making sure the venue is clearly signed and your names or photo are clearly visible. Should you have a very large wedding – with lots of people you barely remember – you might want to have one of the bridal party check people off a list as they go in.