20th March 2019

The happiest time of your life? Don’t let post-engagement anxiety get you down

Getting engaged can be overwhelming

Little known but intensely experienced, post-engagement anxiety is not really talked about. Like much else when it comes to mental health, it’s sometimes shoved under the carpet, with the hope that it will simply disappear. But it does exist and by recognising the symptoms, you can push back and really make this the time of your life.

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What is it?

Anxiety can hit at any point in our lives, though the joy of saying ‘yes’ is rarely associated with negativity. However, the staggering changes ahead of you may only really sink in once that engagement ring has been slipped onto your finger, and the expectations which come with being engaged have much to do with this.

Your happiness is assumed and taken for granted, which puts pressure on you to feel and act a certain way, and make you feel intensely lonely. You are allowed to feel scared or uncertain about all that lies ahead, even though you KNOW he’s the one. The terror and the thrill of a new life can often go hand-in-hand.

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But, what can you do to fight it?

Here are our tips:

1. Talk to your partner

Open communication is key and your loved one might be going through the exact same emotional journey. Open up and share your thoughts so you can work out a way ahead which feels natural and comfortable for you both.

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2. Talk to a friend or relative

You might also want to open up to other people who are close to you. We know that well-intentioned friends and family can really pile the pressure once you’ve said ‘yes’, but be frank with them so they back off, allowing you to take a breather.

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3. Take it easy

There’s no need to decide what your life together is going to look like NOW. There’s even no need to fix a date for the wedding immediately. Remember, you’re in control so move at a pace which you feel most comfortable with.

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4. Stop talking – and thinking – about the wedding

The wedding itself can be a source of consternation. Sometimes, it feels great to just think of your lives together, without the attention, panic and anxiety sometimes associated with walking up the aisle. The ceremony and celebration is a means to an end – don’t think of it as the destination.

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5. Stop…

…for a while. There may be a lot to prepare before the big day, but your health comes first. Make sure you make some time for yourself. Book a massage; go for a walk; read a book. Just, step away and carry on with your life, as if nothing has changed.

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6. You don’t need to feel happy ALL.THE.TIME

How many times has someone told you, ‘you must be thrilled’? The pressure to feel constantly happy can really get you down since the expectation rarely fits the reality (and that’s a fact!). So, allow yourself to feel sad, and know you’re not alone.

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7. If it’s all you can think about, speak to a professional

Book an appointment with a therapist, who specialises in couple counselling, should you find that nothing seems to help. They will be able to help you sort out your thoughts and bring you down to earth with a fresh perspective.

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Image Credits

Wedding Directory